cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
