Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
