How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
