the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
