last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
