yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
