omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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