I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Houston, we have a blender
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
