no. you can't hotbox the world.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
