You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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