So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
