i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
