Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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