She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
