How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
