i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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