Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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