We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
