I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I need water and some morals
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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