don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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