Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
