My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
