Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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