no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
