so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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