girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize