just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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