my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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