am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
