There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
