Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
