Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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