i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
