i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize