I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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