Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
