It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Someone signed my nipple.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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