the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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