Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
