I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
