What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize