is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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