Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
