He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is the high leading the old right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
