so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
