Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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