You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
