Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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