I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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