So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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