sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
