life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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