we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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