Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this just has baby written all over it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
