going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
