Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
