Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
