just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
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