sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
