Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
