my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My vagina just recognized that song.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
