So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
